DANGER IN THE STREET

One day as I was walking down the street a couple of men called Bernard Tisman set upon me and accused me of stealing their name all because my name is Bernard Tisman. They then pulled my head off and kicked it into the road.
Along a came a bus and, 'when it went straight into the head it booted it straight up into the sky, landing on top of a bus stop.
People waiting at the bus stop got the shock of their lives when they saw a human head (It was my head of cause until a couple of yobbos with the same name as me kicked it off after accusing me of stealing their name) mounted on top of the bus stop.
But, just as people were waiting to get on the bus the head flew off and started attacking everyone at the stop. It then roared, flew off and swelled up to monster size.
On it's mad rampage the monster head, about 40 foot long, flew down Granville Lane and gobbled up loads of people.

"I just can't under stand how my own head could do things like that, turning into a man eater.
I am proud of my own head. I wouldn't want it to eat loads of people and bomb an entire city.
I managed to get back to my own home, but, minus my head.
I had to run as fast as possible as the monster 40 foot head came running after me and tried to devour me, even though it was my own head until a couple of yobbos kicked it off.

Being eaten by my own body is the worst thing that can ever happen.

There was no reason to be set upon by a couple of louts all because my name is the same name as theirs, and the hooligans who knocked my head off happened to have the same name as me.